Presence and Joy

A while back, the earth decided to move in a big way under the ground of Myanmar. My missus and I were maybe 480 miles or so away, but we still saw some lights in the place we ate our late lunch shaking just a wee bit when it happened. A building fell down on itself in Bangkok, some 400 miles away from the epicenter. The carnage was on the world news, and more than 1,000 people (if memory serves) lost their lives in the natural disaster. 

Now I'd bet not one of those people who died that day thought they would. Not before that earthquake. In that way, the day was just like any of the other days they got to live through before that one. They woke up that morning, as they had on every other thinking they'd see their wife or husband, their children, their family and friends again. Despite the many times God, or nature, or whatever you want to call it has shown us that our next breaths are not guaranteed, all of us take a whole lot of the moments we enjoy for granted. 

It may read like it, but I'm not preaching. I'm pointing the finger at myself just as much as I am anyone else.

We take our lives for granted and miss out on a lot of joy. 

Two Observations

I start with a recent example of tragedy, but there's more to this than the likelihood of natural disaster. Happiness, it seems, is a paradox. And we fail to count our many blessings. These two facts feed each other, and to our great detriment. 

First, its easier today, with respect to availability and convenience, to get food than it has ever been. You can have cooked meals delivered to you without ever getting off your couch. Until the whole Covid 19 thing happened, there were more conveniences available, and to a much broader section of the populace, than at any time in human history. But I'm sure I'm not the only one who's scrolled the food delivery services and felt like there was "nothing to eat."

We're connected via social media to friends and family, even people across the world. But it seems so many of us are lonelier than ever, and comfort grants less and less happiness, if any, anymore. Comfort and convenience has become the standard, and just meeting that standard doesn't makes us happy anymore. 

This is a paradox of happiness, at least as we seem to view it today.

Second, we're not guaranteed our next breath any more than the people who died in the recent earthquake. That's a fact, and we disregard it with every breath we take. We don't wake up wide-eyed and grateful that we did. Instead, we stretch, yawn, and lament that we "have" to go to this job, or do this work, or go to school, or any number of other things. 

But we did wake up. We drew another conscious breath. We could have felt gratitude for the opportunity. We could realize that, because of that next breath, we might get to hug someone we love, or laugh with a good friend, or even perform acts of kindness. We might get to see another sunset, or hear a child's laughter, or music that moves you. We might smell familiar and tantalizing treats baking, or really listen to someone who needs an ear. 

Our Role

We've let a world get built that values us almost exclusively by the size of our bank account, or the influence we wield in this or that area. We helped lay the bricks, and we run all the maintenance. Now we spend so much of the precious time and energy we're granted chasing means to the material ends we've been conditioned to desire. 

When is the last time you really watched a sunset? When is the last time you let your mind wonder about what makes a sunset so magical? If I challenged you to do that today, could you let go of your worldly problems for the 10 minutes or so it would take you to do it? Could you be truly present for that period of time and really watch it?

See, I'd about stake the farm on this: if you can be truly present when you watch a sunset, you're going to feel something powerful. It's so powerful, in fact, you're likely going to feel a bit regretful about not having done stuff like that much more often. What a magic show! If the science is to be believed, there's a bright nuclear furnace 93 million miles away, and as the sun reaches deep into the western skies, the color show can be truly spectacular. 

But it happens every day, and so we think little about it. Kind of like our lives. 

One day they stop happening. The sun will continue setting for others, but you will have seen your last. 

Presence = Pathway to Joy

I consider how many people have tried, and failed, to convey the same sentiment, albeit in different words: how much better they are at writing or speaking than I am. Why I should have any hope of success where so many others failed. The truth is, I don't know. I write these for my (adult) kids, knowing they rarely, if ever, read them. I write these for my grandson and his cousins-to-be. Maybe one of them will consider what I'm saying here. Maybe this will help them to keep these unfortunate facts of life at the forefront, and to live accordingly. 

Live. Now. When we tell ourselves we'll do it later, later eventually becomes now. We might still have the same problem, or some new problem often occupies our later now. We let so many of our nows slip away like we don't know that now is all any of us truly have.

Presence is a pathway to joy so few of us take. 

In our rush to give away our time and energy, we overlook so much joy. Joy for waking, for our next breath, for the opportunities that lie in each of those precious moments. How might our lives be different if we'd truly commit to feeling and expressing gratitude for our many blessings?

Reframing Challenges as Blessings

Pro tip: even your challenges are blessings. Even your trials, your tribulations and your problems are blessings. Each of these present you an opportunity to adapt, to grow, to improve, to innovate, to learn, and to apply what you've learned. Each one presents you a chance to improve your self-knowledge and discipline. This much is just as true about your challenges as the sadness, pain or anxiety you feel about them. You could reframe your mindset about your challenges, and on a factual basis. 

We claim that's easier said than done, or any other number of deflections to excuse ourselves from not trying it. And so we don't start our days grateful that we emerged from the netherworld again. We don't think anything of the breath we draw, the brilliance of the sun, the camaraderie of our colleagues, the closeness of our families. That's all just our every day... and it always will be. 

Until it isn't. 

I hope this made you think a bit. Leave me a comment and let me know if it did. If you've got something that's help you remember to be grateful each day, please share it with us. Please also let everyone know how that change in your life affected you. 

Thanks for reading. I hope you got something of value equal to the time you spent reading.